Q & A with Sara on What Holds Us Back and How to Overcome Limitations to Gain True Confidence

Here are some follow-up questions that came from the CMC Markets team after my podcast interview on Confidence with Michael McCarthy

Confidence is a true super power, in my opinion, and can improve your life experience immeasurably, when discovered and enjoyed daily. You were born to be confident! I hope you enjoy the Q and A and it helps to awaken this super power within you.


To your happiness, true confidence and success. Love, Sara




What are some of the most common things that hold us back?


Thinking that the external environment is the cause of our issues and focusing our attention on changing and/or trying to control what's going on outside of us. Limitations are primarily a result of what's going on in the mind and within us, not what's going on in the environment (or markets, for example). This is because we are programmed to follow the blueprint in our subconscious and the outer world reflects this inner blueprint. A blueprint with limited and painful beliefs/thinking will yield a limited life and limited results. If you change the blueprint, the issues we see outside of us will start to change and align with the new blueprint. Trying to change the outer world without doing the inner work, after time, results in feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness, existential fatigue, stress, anger, revenge and fear. These feelings hold us back because they are not in alignment with our natural state of creative intelligence, higher thinking, innovative problem solving, and inspired action. They hold you apart from your own particular signature of genius, which is revealed to us when we're in a state of calm confidence, joy, compassion for self and others, and mental balance (this state is a natural result of having your original blueprint in place - the beliefs nature wired into us).


What simple steps can we take to be more aware / overcome these barriers?


Some simple steps to overcoming barriers are:


  1. Just becoming aware of the nature of the subconscious mind and knowing that you have a subconscious blueprint, that's 'running the show', can help to expand your awareness and is the starting point for taking control of your life/issues.

  2. You can begin to observe the patterns in your life that seem to be holding you back and acknowledge that they're simply programs within your mind and not your true self/natural state. With this involves a realization and acceptance that it's not your fault and you're not doing things intentionally and consciously to hold yourself back. It's just your mind's outdated way of keeping you safe and protecting you. When you can see that it's the program and not the natural you, you can begin to release the self-criticism and shame - which will continue to fuel the program and your limited patterns. There is no productive end to self-criticism so the best thing to do is become aware of these internal voices and redirect them to a supportive and cheerleading voice.

  3. The subconscious mind loves what's familiar (playing small, avoiding any risk etc) and hates what's unfamiliar so it will resist change, and observing any feelings of inner resistance, as you begin to shift your deep beliefs, can help you become aware of what's been driving your behaviours. I encourage my clients to talk to their subconscious, like a loving but firm parent. We need to massage it and encourage it to get it to change. It's a gentle, loving and kind process, not unlike how you'd speak to a young child and encourage them. The kinder you are to yourself, the faster your results will be. Lasting transformation happens through kindness and compassion to the self, so start treating yourself as well as you treat your closest friends. Become your own ally!

  4. Use methods that affect deep subconscious change, for rapid and lasting change - such as hypnotherapy (one-on-one therapy and/or audios). You can work with a hypnotherapist and/or purchase Hypno Audios to get into your subconscious mind - the level for true change. You cannot think or reason your way out of the limits you're experiencing. This is a deeper process of tapping into your emotions and your whole body (the mind is not separate from the body and emotions). The subconscious mind is also referred to as the emotional mind and in a battle between emotion and logic, emotion will always win. If you go to that level of information, you can get to the source of your limitations. When you engage at this level, you have access to information that is critical for understanding yourself and the results you've generated to date.

  5. Tell yourself and learn to "feel" the truth of the following phrases, every day: I AM Enough, I am Lovable and Likeable, I am Connected and Supported, What I Want (to have, be, do, experience, create) is available to me. Put them on your mirror, create reminders on your phone, sticky notes in your car.




How do men and women differ in terms of confidence and what holds us back / strategies to overcome barriers?


The same remedy works for both men and women so our issues around confidence are essentially boiled down to the same handful of root causes, whether you're a man or a woman. Believing we are not enough (not smart, talented, attractive, likeable enough), believing we are not lovable (I am not loved or lovable), believing we are not connected and supported in life (I have to do this all alone, I'm alone), and believing we are not able to have or access the things/life we desire and dream of (I'll never have my dream, what I want is out there and out of reach, I am helpless/powerless), and believing there is something wrong with us (I'm different and there must be something wrong with me). Almost all of our issues boil down to one or more of these beliefs held in the subconscious mind. These beliefs were created in your years of early programming and so you're essentially thinking and feeling like a young child - when it comes to your perception of yourself and how life works. This may sound absurd at first, but it is easily and quickly revealed within the subconscious mind! Seeing and knowing this is so empowering because it's quite easy to understand that updating your level of thinking to reflect your capacities and life as an adult, will have profound, sweeping effects on your life. Update the beliefs you have about yourself and watch your whole life transform.


To me, confidence runs deep and is about knowing who we really are and reflecting the true brilliance of who you are and what you have to offer in this journey of life. From this place of being, you are limitless and filled with joy.




Ready to 'overcome your barriers'?

You can reach out with your questions or schedule a consultation at sara@saralaamanen.com.

I work with clients both in-person and/or online in the comfort of their own home or office.

I look forward to hearing from you. Sara

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